Why I Don’t Smoke {recipe, kind of: key lime pie}

26 Mar

There are a lot of reasons not to smoke, like that smokers die younger, get clogged arteries and causes heart attacks and strokes, have more wrinkles, and are prime candidates for mouth, throat, and lung cancer. I hear smokers lose their acute sense of taste. To not taste this, or this, or this?

Or this?

Oh, and it’s bad for other people. I would like to think that I am so selfless that even the last of those reasons would deter me. But I don’t think that’s right. I am pretty selfish sometimes.

I know it’s a big risk, but that’s not really what keeps me at bay. According to research, we take a lot of risks every day. Thirty-one percent of us occasionally use the top step of a step-ladder. Forty-three percent of us jumped on trampolines as kids (resulting in an average of 105,000 hospital visits, yearly). And, 39% of us eat raw cookie dough (and clearly, some us us lie about not eating it).

I drink the occasional diet soda, sometime I eat McDonald’s fries, I put candles out with my fingers, and often I lift with my back and not my knees. I have been known to haphazardly send emails after having a glass of wine.

There are other risks in my life. The health risks aren’t why I don’t smoke.

I don’t smoke because I think I would like it. I mean, I think I would love it. I think I would want to smoke all the time. I think I wouldn’t get work done because I would always be going outside to smoke. I would get sick because I stood out in the cold all winter, smoking. My friends, not to mention my husband, probably wouldn’t like me as much.

Take this week, Austin got pummeled with hail last night. Our house got some damage and my car is reminiscent of a once-pockmarked scarred teen, it’s outermost part tainted with dents and crevaces which are subtle from the distance, but definite upon inspection. I ran out in the hail with my helmet on to move my car into the garage. I looked like I do in this pic, except in my work clothes and without a bike. And our lawn looked like a driving range of hail-balls.

By 9am today we had been to Lowes, been home, figured out the car insurance and made a claim, and driven to work. Outside of the office, some committed smoker was outside, in the rain, with a cigarette. The slightly stifiling smell of smoke didn’t turn me off, but rather made me think, man, I wish I could relax like that right now.

Ok, I feel like that was a big confession. I should go now.

Oh. You wanted a recipe? For this?

This is the best key lime pie I have ever had. And I made it. I can’t give you the recipe on this blog, because there is someone who always talks of challenging me to a bake-off at the office, and we decided that for said bake-off, we will make a key lime pie. Because key lime pie is neutral and provides little enough variation that two different ones could be compared, but room for enough variation that two key lime pies can taste very different.

If you want the recipe and you don’t work at my office, leave a comment below and I will happily email it to you directly. If you do work at my office, you can just participate in the bake-off judging and see what you think whenever that happens.



18 Responses to “Why I Don’t Smoke {recipe, kind of: key lime pie}”

  1. SHARON March 26, 2009 at 10:47 am #

    Please send me your best key lime pie recipe.We are vegetarians and love good recipes! Thank you so much!!!!! If you would, send any others you have used/tasted that are great also!

  2. Erin March 26, 2009 at 11:43 am #

    Yes. You would like it. After about sixteen years of smoking I’ve finally quit [I think]. Not to say that I may not have a VERY occassional therapeutic smoke with a good friend and glass of red wine [it offsets all the ill effects of the ciggarette, right? riiiight.]

  3. Amber-Rose March 26, 2009 at 11:56 am #

    Morgan, I want this recipe! Those little suckers look so good – key lime pie is one of my very favorite desserts! Thanks, friend!

  4. Kate March 27, 2009 at 2:12 pm #

    I totally stalk your blog (thanks, Facebook) and TOTALLY want this recipe. And heck, I’m not even in the same state, so I definitely can’t threaten your office glory. But man, that looks delicious…

  5. onlinepastrychef April 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm #

    Confession to someone I’ve never met before: I smoked for 10 years. A lot. I loved everything about it: the ritual of packing the cigarettes; tearing off the little cellophane strip to open the pack; the lighters. Everything. And I quit cold turkey on New Year’s Eve, 1995/6. I’ve never smoked since. I don’t miss it anymore, although I did for a long time.

    Confession 2: I love key lime pie; yours looks wonderful. Hope you win the bake off at the office:)

  6. katietelschow April 16, 2009 at 11:16 am #

    Oh yeah…I’d love the recipe! Do you have my email address? (katietelschow at gmail.com)

    Also, I wanted to tell you that it blessed me immensely to hear your story at Austin Stone. I LOVE that you are making a neighborhood cookbook, and I was really encouraged by the impact you guys are making.

  7. Erin B April 18, 2009 at 4:09 pm #

    I would LOVE that recipe! Yes, please. Good luck with the bake-off. Oh, and any chance of getting the snickerdoodle cookie recipe???

  8. Erin B April 18, 2009 at 4:10 pm #

    oh.. and its eeb124 at gmail.

  9. Kristin Laughlin April 19, 2009 at 10:00 am #

    Fun to find your blog! And great pics by the way!! I would LOVE your key lime pie recipe! See you tonight!

  10. hilstreet April 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm #

    This tastes like key-lime cheesecake and it is delicious!

  11. Catherine Judice April 30, 2009 at 1:17 pm #

    Morgan, I have to admit, sometimes I really want to smoke too 🙂 I just wish I had an excuse to go outside and breath deeply for 5 minutes several times a day, especially when at work. I love your website – every time I get hungry for pizza, I always want to make your flatbread recipe, but sadly, I haven’t yet. I also love, love key lime pie, so would you share yours with me? I have a quick and LF key lime recipe that I’ll trade! Hope you and Jon are doing well.

  12. Vivian April 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm #

    Please send me your key lime pie recipe! That is my absolute favorite dessert in the world! You will make my day 🙂

  13. Mae May 17, 2009 at 9:05 pm #

    I’d LOVE to have the recipe for the best key lime pie ever. And I promise I don’t work in your office.

  14. Jill in MI May 29, 2009 at 12:28 pm #

    Key lime pie is an addiction, so it’s a very suitable substitute for smoking. It has heart, soul and sex appeal. Gotta get me some. Please help.

  15. Morgan May 30, 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    Key Lime Pie Recipe: I published the recipe in a hidden place on the site. Here is the direct link, enjoy! https://saltimbocca.wordpress.com/morgan-norris/my-favorite-recipe/

  16. talya July 14, 2009 at 8:11 am #

    any chance to get the recipe please?
    not qorking in your office:)

  17. becki August 25, 2009 at 7:20 pm #

    can i pls get a copy of your key lime pie recipe> i do not work in your office,lol:))

  18. emma October 10, 2011 at 4:15 am #

    Please please can I get a copy of your keylime pie recipe? Cheers, from England. x

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